Christian way of dating dating patience
Of course, one of the biggest obstacles toward casual dating is the inevitable “ending.” So many of us equate kindness with never saying anything hard to anyone. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. But the purpose of dating isn’t to just accumulate boyfriends or girlfriends—it’s to find a best friend and partner for life.
If you’ve maintained boundaries and treated your date with respect, you’ve protected him or her from false and premature intimacy. And when you find him or her, chances are, none of those other guys or gals you’ve casually dated will matter much in the light of your spouse. You can’t have the attention of multiple dates and still be pursuing a God-honoring relationship with one.
This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?
It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.
And spending intentional one-on-one time—not too serious, just time—allows both parties to experience what it would be like to continue in the relationship.I don’t have first-hand knowledge, but thanks to reality TV, I believe it appears to involve asking the woman’s dad if she is available to date, and possibly not kissing until the actual wedding.